Looking forward to this year.

Image credit to u/Ok_Reputation4142 from the r/CHIBears Subreddit

Did you know, if you wipe out while skiing, your phone thinks you were in a car accident? I had read a few stories about the new iPhone crash detection calling emergency services when someone would ride a roller coaster. I thought it was kinda funny that this was happening and delighted in the idea that some 911 operator would be listening in on someones ride on the [https://www.silverwoodthemepark.com/rides/timber-terror.php](Timber Terror).

Let me set the record straight, it’s not fun to tell the 911 operator that you are fine, that you weren’t in a car wreck, but you were double ejected from your skis going 25 miles per hour down a hill. For those concerned souls, I’m fine. I’m a little sore but no permanent damage. I also didn’t realize that the emergency contact I keep in my phone would get a text with my current location and a message of Crash Detected SOS. User called emergency services from this approximate location after iPhone detected a crash. You’re receiving this message because User has listed you as an emergency contact. I think in most cases it would freak that person out, but good for me my emergency contact is my mom, who doesn’t do texts. Took about 5 hours for her to reply with “what is this?”

I’m glad this feature exists, and I hope I don’t really have to use it anytime soon. If you also have a newer iPhone, decide to go skiing, and maybe aren’t super good, make sure to turn it off. It’s not fun to breathlessly explain you’re just not good at a sport to someone who had Steve Job’s ghost just call them.

My first interaction with a social network on the internet was LiveJournal. I was going to college and also doing comedy at a local theater. I was the youngest of the cast and a handful of the other performers encouraged me to join as they would post mostly hilarious stories smattered with some professional updates. It was my first time writing content that was viewed by friends and strangers alike. My tone started out like I was chatting with my best friends. Turns out, that tone sometimes was just meandering thoughts that didn’t tell a cohesive story. It was arguably bad writing. At least that is what I took away from some of early feedback. To this day I edit the shit out of any blog post I make. I’m worried about what people that I’ll never meet might think of how I write, what I have to say, and if I sounds stupid.

As a young comedian working temp jobs that were computer based (mostly excel) to get by, the internet was your playground. I had hopped on the MySpace wagon pretty early and was exploring the blogging function instead of LiveJournal. After Facebook became available for the general population, I coexisted on both platforms, with MySpace eventually dying. It was a magical time for a tech-curious kid with time to kill at jobs with a lot of downtime. Youtube was this landfill of shit videos, but if you dug around enough, you could be the person who found the diamond. Google was doing some interesting things at that time as well. Google Wave, precursor to Google docs was this shiny new thing where our comedy group tried to all write one chapter of a book at a time. That lasted for like two weeks.

Then Twitter came into my life. I really didn’t understand it. I didn’t understand it for a few years after I had an account. 140 characters just wasn’t enough to relay the verbose blog type thoughts that I was used to authoring. How could anyone really understand the gravity of the thoughts I was trying to share if I couldn’t use all my $10 words. Then a couple of my friends start posting jokes. Like really dumb jokes. And it clicked, this was a place to just put dumb thoughts and witty remarks. I loved it. I posted so many jokes. I got so few likes and retweets. It’s rough to admit, but there was definitely a time that likes and retweets were how I measured my comedic talent. It’s a rough when you measure your funniness on these metrics, especially if you have been striving to make a living in this profession for years. Everyone needs that fix of affirmation. Especially if you are a comedian that feeds off of the approval of strangers.

Eventually comedy took a backseat in my life and I focused more on my professional career. As I started to carve out a piece of the pie for myself, I decided that Instagram was the right social media for me. Not only could I show off my photography skills, but I could brag without words about all the amazing stuff in my life. What a time that was. Getting the same 15 likes from the same 15 people and never growing my followers over 230. It’s funny now looking back on the amount of effort that went into trying to impress acquaintances and strangers. I also didn’t realize the social politics of Instagram when you’re in a relationship. Good lord, what a mess if you don’t like your partner’s post. Or god forbid, you tag them in a photo they think is less than flattering. Keep your head on a swivel.

Then a year ago I just kinda gave up on it all. I had deleted Facebook a few years prior because scrolling through the feed was exhausting. I likened it to having a package of Saltine crackers, and eating one at a time expecting the next one to be an oreo cookie, but it’s never an oreo cookie, it’s just another bland saltine. Next was Twitter. It was exhausting. The amount of time I put into trying to craft the most amazing joke that never would be seen, or later finding out someone made the same joke 2 weeks earlier. Fuck it, delete it. Then Instagram. This was was hard because it’s pretty much just a dating app at this point and I’m still single, but I was on a roll. I had a Snapchat, but it’s just for nudes right? We’re not really calling that a social media app, it’s a naked picture messaging service. Anyway, I don’t have one now, and I never got any naked pictures, so good no loss here.

Now you internet stranger might be asking, why did you write this? It’s kinda rambling and honestly maybe a little TMI. You’re not wrong internet stranger. I guess I’m just excited to be able to post stuff like this on my own terms, on my own site. I used to love blogging and putting my dumb thoughts out to whomever. Then it became about social capital. In some cases it became about trying to start a revenue stream. Whatever the motive, it led to a lot of self-censoring and writing in a voice that I thought would be most palatable. I’m excited to really just start writing with my actual voice and about the dumb dumb shit I think is interesting, likes be damned.

Today I tried a new application called TooGoodToGo . While the name seems like a javascript function, I respect the fact that they kept all the vowels.

The mission statement latches onto the environmentally conscientious angle, which is indeed a part of it, but more of a side effect. Depending on if you’re a consumer or business, your angle is to recoup cost for food you’d throw away, or getting food on the cheap. Like most green initiatives, it needs to make dollars and sense before people will really get on-board.

Downloading the app was simple and the search worked without having to register. I really enjoyed that you had the option to use the application up until the point of purchase without having to fork over your email etc. Based on the site, the three main sectors are restaurants, grocery stores, and bakeries. As you can guess the pick-up times also vary depending on the outlet and when they want to get rid of their excess inventory. Most bakeries have early evening or very early morning pick-ups, restaurants I’ve seen are mostly just at closing time and later in the evening. In my area, it’s almost exclusively bakeries and coffee shops looking to get rid of their excess pastries. My search range was 3 miles, but if I opened it up I saw a few more restaurants.

After a few days of browsing I eventually saw a place that was about a mile away and had a pick-up time that right about the time I finished work. Deciding to pull the trigger, I put in my information and loaded up my credit card. It was pretty seamless and didn’t need to do any email verification steps. Once I made the reservation, I had a timer letting me know when the pick-up window opened. In most cases there is a 20-40 minute pick-up window. When I made the reservation, I had a confirmation number listed on the app that was also emailed to me. When I walked into the store, the team was obviously closing up. I mentioned I was there to pick up the “Grab Bag” and the person at the counter handed me one of three boxes sitting on the counter. Additionally they told me to just confirm on the app that I picked up my order. It was super simple. Also the staff member I interacted with seemed like they had been using the service for a while and I didn’t get any of that stink-eye vibe you sometimes see when you’re buying things on a discount.

The packaging was great. I was half expecting a grocery bag with loose muffins, but this was actually a box from the bakery that was filled with grab-bag goodies.

Once I got it home and opened it up, I was even more impressed. Kettle Glazed Donuts has a solid reputation for great donuts, but the spread in the grab-bag was pretty impressive.

There were a total of 9 donuts in the box that I received.

• Apple Fritter
• Blueberry Fritter
• Chocolate Sprinkle
• Blueberry Cake
• (2) Old Fashioned
• (2) Glazed
• S’mores Donut

Cost $6

Now I didn’t eat all of them. I wanted to. I really wanted to. I did take down the S’mores Donut and part of the Blueberry fritter. With that price tag, I might become the guy at work who is always bringing in baked goods.

Overall it was a pretty great experience. It may vary based on the saturation of businesses in your area that are on the platform. However if you live in an urban area with some restaurants and bakeries, it’s a solid way to get some delicious food that would normally end up being thrown away.